On The Last Few Months

A LOT HAS CHANGED. It always does, inevitably. I cut my hair, then grow it out again. I gain weight, then lose it, then gain it back again. I lose touch with people, then reconnect. My room becomes a landfill of laundry and my life seems to be just as chaotic. But as things come to a close, it opens up a space to breathe; even just for a minute, even if its just enough. It feels like that now but this year is not over yet. 

二兎を追う者は一兎をも得ず
He who chases after two hares won’t catch even one.

It’s hard to concentrate when your focus is split in all different directions and when there are only so many hours in a day. If you’re like me, you’ll have a long list of desires in life, especially when you have a deep and profound appreciation for what it is that you do. I always used to think I’d be a designer and that was the only thing I would want to be. But I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times that I seriously doubted my future in that. At my age, that’s probably not a good thought to have, given that I’ve already spent countless hours and dollars to invest in the promise that I’ll have some dream job somewhere in greener pastures. 

So what’s holding me back? The choice is literally in my own hands right? I, for one, am a firm believer of sticking to your guns, even when the going gets tough. I believe that you should see things through, even if it causes you the most harrowing of pains. You owe to yourself to NEVER half-ass a dream that you set your heart on from the moment that you truly knew that it’d make you happy.  And so it goes —

“Nothing worth having ever comes easy.”

It matters to me that I don’t quit. Even just a bit of progress at a time is all it takes, as long as I see it all the through to the (hopefully not bitter) end. This entry is just as much as for you as it is for me; because 10 years from now, when I’m kicking back in an home that I am more than happy to pay for and I’m working a job that fulfills me to no end, I can gratefully say that it was all worth it.